I saw this link on someone’s page and thought it was a brilliant idea. Take a minute each day to write. I tried it. It was tough. It does, however, spark some thoughts, ideas, creativity – all that junk needed to eventually write the novel I want to write.
Thought I’d try a few questions of my own. Only get 60 seconds, so here it goes (not easy!):
1. If you could invent a pair of glasses that would allow you to see abstract things (e.g. the motives behind someone’s actions), what would you want to see most of all?
I would want to know what people are really thinking – whether it is in regards to what you have just said, what you might look like, who you are dating, what you do for a living- I would like to see if the words they say and the actions of their body do actually align with what thoughts might be racing through their mind. I guess this would be something like transparency…or maybe I just need to gain some confidence!?
2. Most people have a favorite story or experience that they love to share with other people. Here’s your chance: What’s your story?
People have a fear of being brave. I admit, I’m not always that brave. But there have been and will continue to be times in my life where I have been and will be incredibly brave. I am pretty proud of those moments. So when people tell me they would never to be able to do xyz, I tell one of my stories. A favorite? Becoming a flight attendant. It may seem like a trivial position, but I pushed myself way out of my comfort zone both personally and professionally to do that job. Wouldn’t have traded it for the world.
3. If you had the ability to compete in any Olympic event, which one would you choose to enter?
There is only one area of my life that I can think of where I am actually competitive – running. I don’t know why I feel the need to excel and compete in this area, but I do. Not surprisingly, I would enter the marathon. How cool would it be to run into the olympic stadium knowing I had just competed with the best in the world?
4. If any one of the national holidays had to be celebrated twice a year, six months apart, which one would you want it to be?
This is an easy one. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has nothing to do with gifts and expectations. Mainly, it is about eating, eating, games, more eating, and family. My only request? If we do get to celebrate this holiday more than once per year, please let all those stores that insist on now being open on Thanksgiving only get to do that for one of the two. Leave the other one alone.
I started thinking about advice: why we want it, why we give it, and why we don’t follow it. I know, the not following it part is not true in every situation. I would argue that I tend to take doctor’s advice much more seriously than say a hairdresser’s. Then again, there have to be hairdressers out who hold some pretty substantial weight. Why? People still have mullets. Someone out there is giving them the advice that it looks good. Someone is still giving them the cut.
I read this article in Forbes magazine that discussed why doctor’s advice seems to hold greater clout. It’s not necessarily because they wear a white coat walking around with a stethoscope necklace apologizing for cold hands. There is no doubt a greater gap in health knowledge between the average person and someone who has been in medical school for 7 years. The one exception stems from the idea that avoiding the hospital in July may be a good idea. It’s called the “July Effect.” This is the time of year when new graduates report to residencies in teaching hospitals. It is also the time of year that has has been subsequently tied to more operating errors. Good luck – I’ll try not to have any accidents in July.
Aside from the greater gap in knowledge, there is the feeling of powerlessness in certain medical conditions. The diagnosis can be complicated and confusing, especially when you can’t even pronounce what it is. There is, of course, another option. Self diagnoses via the Internet. This may help in avoiding the trip to the doctor where you have to fork over a co-pay, spend the next 45 minutes waiting regardless of when the appointment is, just to be graced with the doctor’s presence for about 5 minutes where they tell you its a virus and just need to rest and drink lots of fluid.
Instead, I jump on the Internet and go to WebMD. I have a headache. I have dry mouth. I have fatigue. I have just been self diagnosed with almost every disease out there. I’m dying! Time to go to the doctor! Armed with this really important knowledge, I explain my symptoms. Although I am relieved to not be dying, I am now $40 dollars poorer with orders to drink lots of water and get rest. That’s it?
According to Website Stats, a web information company that measures traffic and a ton of other stats on websites all over the world, WebMD ranks 407th for traffic over the last 3 months. Not surprisingly, the audience is mainly female, and the largest age demographic is in the 45+ range. Another interesting stat? WebMD comes to the top of the search hit list most frequently when people are seeking advice about weight loss, blood infections, diarrhea and ovulation…in that order.
While weight loss is a big one for advice seekers, I would also suggest advice is sought for nutrition, careers, self-help, and finances.
“Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.” ~ Warren Buffett
What about relationship advice – be it finding one or leaving one? This is not a strong suit of mine. In fact, it probably ranks right up there with my inability, rather the fact that I shouldn’t give advice on nutrition while running or running when injured seeing as how I set out for a tough 8-mile trail run last weekend with no water or food and have run a full marathon on a foot that was developing plantar fasciitis.
Yet, I’ve given it and I’ve sought it. Truth be told I’ve never actually acted on it. Is this because the knowledge gap on relationships is much smaller compared to a doctor/patient one? Obviously, there is no scientific evidence proving an all-encompassing method of dealing with relationships. If there was, the whole industry that thrives on relationship turmoil would collapse. Or is it because that we (mainly women) are actually seeking validation rather than advice? And, in turn, this is all that others are seeking from us? Maybe it’s because the advice is free. It can easily be ignored. If you pay for it, like at a doctor’s or psychologist’s office, it is somehow more credible with that monetary attachment.
I did a quick Google search on relationship advice and decided to pick the first link that popped up – here’s what I got:
Advice on getting past a breakup: Wikihow gave me 14 steps to get past a breakup. If I chose a link further down, I could get that number down to 10 and even 3! Maybe the better you get at relationships, the less steps it takes to be successful?
Of course I’d like to think that I did take people’s advice to heart when I look back at previous relationships. People told me it wouldn’t last or that I was not being myself and the relationship was hurting me more than it was helping. In all reality, I was the only one who could make the decision to finally be done regardless of how much people tried to tell me “you’re so much better, you deserve better, and there’s plenty more fish in the sea.” What does that really mean anyway? Don’t tell me that. I’m not going to hear it anyway.
I would go back to guys time and time again, regardless of the fact that I was miserable. I was determined to prove people’s advice wrong. In the end, turns out they were right, I was better off without him, and eventually someone (yes, maybe a “fish”) does come along that makes all the bad ones worthwhile. I still can’t help to grapple with why we actually seek it if it’s something we don’t really want anyway.
Just for fun, thought I’d try some other searches for advice. Again, I clicked on the first link that popped up (supposedly the most popular or the one that paid the most to get themselves to the top of the list):
Advice on buying a car: MSN decided to offer me 10 tips for regret-free buying! I’m personally not sure that buying a car is ever fully regret-free, but proud of them for giving it a shot anyway.
Advice for planning a wedding: I was really curious to see what would come up here and wasn’t shocked by the results – another list of steps, by experts of course! 30 expert tips and tricks from The Knot.
Did I find any of this advice new and groundbreaking? Helpful, maybe, but groundbreaking, not so much. Will I use it? Likely not. Not surprised all of the top hits were in list format. This gives people something tangible to hang on to. It’s easier to read for those with short attention spans like myself. It also makes it look less complicated. If I just follow these 14 (not 13, not 15) steps to getting over my breakup, I will make all the right decisions, right?
This post is really all about me taking a trip down memory lane via YouTube. You can pretty much find any and every music video (at least back to the 80s). If you notice my tastes through the years, they obviously have not changed. Incriminating? Absolutely.
My thought process behind goes a little something like this.
Growing up, I wanted to be that person who picks songs for movie soundtracks. Official job title I do not know and it doesn’t appear in any occupational handbook of which I am aware. Like many of my career aspirations of my younger days – astronaut (thanks to Apollo 13), storm chaser (thanks to Twister), and fashion designer (thanks to the idea that I thought I had some fashion sense – turns out I don’t), this one didn’t come to fruition.
Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it- A LOT. I do believe most of my friends in college knew about this so-called dream job…one friend was going to act, another was going to design the credits at the beginning and end, and I was going to pick the music. I realized it would mean I would need to move to LA and figure out how to wiggle my way into the movie industry. I did meet someone once who knew David Foster – successful musician guy whose worked a ton with making movie soundtracks – but I never actually followed through on getting the introduction.
Ever watch people singing in their cars as you pass by or sit next to them at stoplights? I tend to think they are pretty happy people – at least for the duration of the song. When I sing in the car, I know I’m happy. Unless it’s Alanis Morissette, I’m in high school, and I’m pissed off at that guy who drove the teal Chevy Cavalier for not noticing me in the hall as we passed each other.
Music is one of the mediums I have used over and over agin to get me through good and bad times. I used to be the queen of CD burning before iPods and Pandora. I can’t say originality was my strong suit titling them things like Breakup Mix, Another Breakup Mix, Yet Another Breakup Mix (apparently I had a lot of breakups or a lot of anger), Favorites of (name the year), Girl Songs, Happy Songs…I still had fun putting the music together.
Maybe now just for fun it would still be pretty cool to make a soundtrack. In dance class a few weeks ago, our instructor had us do a routine to one of will.i.am’s songs featured on the Great Gatsby soundtrack.
Haven’t seen the movie, but it apparently has a killer song lineup! I started thinking about what would be on my soundtrack.
I had never heard of Gretchen Rubin until a year ago when having lunch with a friend, she told me I should read her book called The Happiness Project. I put it off for a while, as I typically do with most things. I like to think I never have enough time to just do things for the sake of doing them. I would say nine times out of ten when you ask someone how things have been going or what they have been doing, they will throw in some line about being so incredibly busy – how time just flies! I know I do it, even when it may not be true. I just want to sound important or maybe don’t want to have to take the time to stop and have a conversation about anything meaningful.
I finally bought the book late last summer and tried my very best to get through it. I’m not sure if I quit reading it because I didn’t feel like I had the time, or maybe it simply wasn’t that interesting to me. I’m going to assume the former. I keep saying I should go back now and make the effort, but have not. Regardless of whether the book is actually helpful or not, she is a talented writer who has, as of right now, been the only one to get me going on this crazy idea to turn a hobby of writing into something a little bit more. Her website is full of blogs, links, ideas, you name it. I’m using it, and it’s helping.
Turn the clock back two months and you would find me in my car before going to work, crying. I told myself I would hang in there a year. I needed to make sure my resume didn’t get botched up jumping from job to job. But how was I supposed to make it another six months in the state I was in? I didn’t want to have to start another week telling myself and my co-workers that I couldn’t wait for Friday and then spend Sunday night in misery.
A tell-tale sign for me of stress and anxiety, at least for the last three years, has been the appearance or disappearance of hair. While I can’t say it is entirely related to anxiety, I believe the probability is greater than 90%. If the doctors really have no idea why it comes out and they have some reason to believe it is related to stress, I’ll go with that. So, as I would sit in the car, crying, watching hair fall from my head, I knew it could not last. So I quit – with the blessing of both my fiancée and the career counselor. My guilt requires me to provide explanation.
I think friends and family were a little shocked. After all, I had just spent the last two years going through a master’s program in hopes of working in the field of criminology. And yet, I discovered a couple of truths. The first is that I like to have tangible work at the end of the day. If I did not, I would have stayed in government work. I admit, however, I did enjoy our morning viewings of Gangnam Style to get me through the “work” day. Second, I learned that I do not like criminals. Turns out they lie.
I have been hesitant to remove my position from both my LinkedIn and Facebook profile. I worry about perception. I worry far too much about perception. Maybe if people think I’m employed, I’ll look more important. Ultimately, it’s really only the confidence, or lack thereof, I have in myself or in telling other people what I really want to do that is stopping the creative process from continuing. I actually do have a very part time job assisting as a varsity dance team coach at a local high school. There. I’m employed and getting to do another one of my passions – dance.
I have been struggling big time trying to figure out where to start. I should be writing a blog. Some say writing in it every day. Others say once a week. Others recommend waiting a few months to get going until you have gathered enough research or life experience to really be able to write something that people will care about. All very good pieces of advice. I want tangibility, but may need to take my own path on this.
I haven’t put anything out in the last couple months for people to read. Well, not true. The creative writing teacher I had in my class last month has seen the work in progress of my short story. Hoping to get that out for public feedback soon. I haven’t been sitting around, though. I have written plenty, but am too critical of the work and assume others will either find it boring or tragically bad. Truth is, it could suck, but at least it’s out there. If any piece of advice has stuck of what I’ve read, I am well-aware that I will go through a lot of crap work before actually pumping out something great. Criticism is essential.
Fortunately, I have found a vehicle that might just get me to writing a novel this year. My go-to site for sparking creativity (Gretchen Rubin) pointed me to an organization called National Novel Writing Month. The premise? Write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days. Reality check means I will need to write to about 1,167 words each day! It sounds insane, but the good news is that I have until November 1 to either pump myself up or scare myself to death. Local chapters provide help and support in connecting with other writers in my community. This may be just what I need. I equate it to running a marathon. People will tell you they could never do it. But really, they can. It does, at some point, become mind over matter. I believed I could run a marathon, and I did. If I believe I can write the novel, I will be able to.
I am going to use this blog to bounce ideas off mainly me. I suppose I’m the one writing them. One thing I learned in my creative writing class is that I need to first and foremost write for myself. A natural people-pleaser, I am really good at trying to write stuff, or doing stuff that others will find compelling, interesting and acceptable. If they do not, I have failed. That’s not what this about. I have to develop plot lines, characters, dialogue. And so this will be my guinea pig to see where things go. I plan to find the confidence to share the short stories I am writing knowing I am taking a big chance on myself.
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. ~William Shedd
looking without striving 